We're dating again. I feel different about things this time.

I kept seeing what Cezar COULD be. And it was so amazing. He has such an immense ability to store demonic energy, really made me envious the first time I realized, and he's so gifted with his manipulation of it. I really thought he would just excel, and I pushed myself so hard to keep up.

But then he didn't try. EVER. He just coasted by, doing the minimum. And then all the stuff with Cynthia happened.

I had so much shame, and anger, and... disappointment.

But he kept just being Cezar. He would make me laugh, and care, and feel things. And I hated him even more for that.

But what if I just let him be Cezar? And saw where that went? Let that happy feeling inside grow, slowly.

There's no rush.

It's so hard to slow down and just be in the moment, but there's no rush.

Why do I feel like time is running out...

-Journal entry of the Demon Jahi