NEW from Continental Food Production Co.
You've seen them in Pre-(H)istory media, you've read about them in pre-(H)istory books... introducing...
ARTIFICIAL FOOD PRESERVATIVES!
Thanks to our hard working magica-food scientists, we've re-created the wonder of long term, shelf stable, ARTIFICIAL food preservatives! No longer do you need to worry about your bread going stale in a few days, our Pre-Sliced bread can stay Factory Fresh in your pantry for upwards of 3 months! Amazing! Always enjoy the delightful taste of any number of our products, with the clear knowledge that they will no longer go bad for an indefinite length of time!
Gut Health may suffer if consumed more than twice daily. Please consult with your doctor before ingesting large quantities of preserved food.