I have found a great internal peace I had never before known. All of my life was a great gray sludge, even the moments I remember from before the change. But here, with my Teacher, with my Sight- everything is so clear. Often painfully so, but in a way that fills my heart with joy.

To truly know you are doing something great, something that will outlive you... to see the pieces of a vast cosmic puzzle fit together piece by piece... to truly UNDERSTAND REALITY. This is meaning. This is PURPOSE.

I sometimes dream about more, because I am only human and I am weak. I dream about what could be, and what will never be. 

But that's okay as well. I know myself to be flawed, but how many imperfect beings leave behind something immaculate? Something that will change the course of history? I am at peace.

-Notes alongside calculations on the Infinity Brain by Kay.